Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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