she woke up with a sticky ear
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
