You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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