New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
