we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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