my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
