My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
