hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize