Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
