Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
