You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
