yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
