turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
