he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
