After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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