The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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