I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we're so committed to being not committed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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