What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
