ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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