he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
