sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we're blogging at a bar
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
