Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize