I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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