i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
