i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
