She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
