Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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