You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
