I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
