What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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