So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I currently don't understand fingers.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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