just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You made out with two different species that night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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