My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
