have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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