If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.