That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You ruined the universe