Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
