It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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