Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
