it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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