Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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