Im at strip club and am horny
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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