So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
