When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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