that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
