I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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