Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
