Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
