So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
