I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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