My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
