Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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