whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
