thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
