my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
