we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
