i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
