so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
