In America we eat man semen.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
