3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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