if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
